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Cameron's political guru is said to be thinking of giving it all up to run a Hungarian restaurant. John Crace surveys the likely fare
Goulash 'Blue Skies'
– a traditional Hungarian favourite that has been been rethought from scratch to make it sound modern while actually still tasting exactly like a traditional goulash.
'Big Society' Paprika Chicken
– a unique farm to table recipe, in which a chicken willingly starves itself to death, puts itself in the oven and carves itself into quarters for the benefit of those more deserving.
Grilled Peppers à la Hoodie
– a delicious appetiser in which the red peppers are first bathed in hugs and love before being flattened and grilled to see if they are fit to work.
Battered Carp
– a long-time favourite of St Stephan, patron saint of axing whining civil servants.
Cold Shoulder of Lamb
– a peasant recipe from the mountainous north of the country, traditionally served to women claiming maternity leave.
Cooked 'Call Me Dave' Goose
– a delicacy in which carrion that is way past its sell-by date is first hung out to air dry and then stuffed by Paxo.
'Rebekah' Stewed Fruit
– a family favourite reinvented to not be a family favourite.
* All the animals used in these recipes are entirely free of welfare benefits.
** No takeaway orders can be taken by text message until further notice. LOL.
