The best restaurant in London? You literally can't get a table

A make-believe restaurant serving pretend food to imaginary customers for fake reviews… What Tripadvisor reviews tell us about the way we live

There is a raw kind of beauty to the Tripadvisor review. Let your eye flow down the page and poetry emerges. “Like a plate of blood / I wanted to scream / The worst / The worst / The worst pasty in London.” My boyfriend runs a deli – they had their favourite bad Tripadvisor review printed on tea towels: “When I’m lying on my deathbed, I’ll regret the hour I spent here.” People email him with threats – if you don’t give me and my wife a free meal on Saturday, I’ll post a bad review. Tripadvisor holds plenty of such secrets in its one star reviews, while hiding up at the other end, in the lush grass of its five star hits, are writers paid to push restaurants up the charts.

Six months after creating The Shed at Dulwich websit they were, according to Tripadvisor, the best restaurant in London