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Do try this at home: why restaurants always ruin roasties, crumble and macaroni cheese

Restaurants are terrible at anything that takes time – or is too easy. So cancel the booking and start cooking

Journalists are paid to report what they see and, as a result, they get to see terrible things. Being a restaurant critic, I know far too much about this. Oh, the atrocities I have witnessed. The most recent was at the Birnam Brasserie inside the Gleneagles Hotel. They called it a cassoulet. I would call it the death of all that is good and hopeful in the world.

The problem with that so-called “cassoulet” – and yes, I’m using those quotation marks like weapons – seems to be not just a bad day in the kitchen. It feels more like a systemic issue to do with the way restaurant kitchens work; one that means there are many dishes which should be left entirely to the home cook and never ordered from a menu.

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