Laurent Tourondel has had some great ideas, but this calamity isn’t one of them
Laurent at Café Royal, 68 Regent Street, London W1B 4DY (020 7406 3310). Meal for two, including drinks and service, £225
We were three forkfuls into what they called a Caesar salad when we started Googling “kale poisoning”. Turns out that, as with any foodstuff, you have to eat absurd amounts before you experience ill effects. That, however, doesn’t deal with the possibility of dying from boredom. The kale Caesar served by Laurent at Café Royal is vast. It didn’t matter how much we forked away; it was all still there. We peered at it. Was it actually increasing in volume? Were the fronds of chopped kale springing up the more we took away? It should also be said that the application of tiny croutons and a bit of anchovy does not a Caesar salad make. It was bitter and sour and relentless. It looked like a salad bowl designed for a ruminant with four stomachs.
The kale Caesar was bitter and sour and relentless, like a salad bowl designed for a ruminant with four stomachs
In the mouth, the strands of wagyu beef dissolved into hot, tongue-coating grease
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