Yeni, London: ‘Underwhelming dishes and in-yer-face pricing’ – restaurant review

Beyond the front of house team, there is little to delight at this modern Turkish newcomer

Yeni, 55 Beak Street, London W1F 9SH (020 3475 1903). Starters £9-£17. Mains £21-£32. Desserts £9. Wines from £29

Following a major car crash, there’s usually an investigation to work out what caused it. Was it driver error? Or perhaps environmental factors? At some point, the people behind Yeni, a newly opened import from Istanbul to London’s Soho, may wish to conduct such an enquiry. Because right now it really is a pile-up; the sort that leaves debris scattered across all three lanes, and slows the traffic on the other carriageway to the speed of spilt treacle as they decelerate to get a serious gander.

I stare at the dish of muddy-grey vine leaves, then mutter: ‘We’d better get the vet in; that cow’s not right’