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Eelbrook, London SW6 restaurant review | Marina O'Loughlin

'The food could have been crocheted from unicorn tears, and it would still be a lousy experience'

It's the fag end of summer when I visit and bloated, woozy wasps bombard the unwary al fresco diner. So we sit inside this beautiful building overlooking Fulham's Eel Brook Common, in what must be one of the capital's prettiest locations: gilded youth loafing under vast trees to one side, streets of creamy-painted, impossible-to-afford little terraced houses on the other. This, we have no doubt whatsoever, is going to be good.

Eelbrook all promises so much. Chef Brett Barnes comes with a CV that ticks off the modish. The designer, Haruo Morishima, has also worked for arch stylist Alan Yau on Yauatcha and Wagamama, and the cool, clean lines and windows open on to the nearby common instil an instant sense of calm. Shame we end up so frazzled. Barnes is a chef of talent and creativity, but every other element of our meal here is so clodhopping, it's hard not just to throw your hands up in the air and shriek, "Enough already!"

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