Yes I am complaining. See, you just have to take control. I don’t care if it’s embarrassing, that’s what they depend on, people being too shy to make a fuss
Is that fish dry, it looks dry, yuck, just send it back. Go on, I would, look, if you don’t want to, I will, doesn’t matter that you’ve already eaten most of it, they’re just taking advantage because they know they can. Waiter! Can you go and tell the chef my friend’s fish is disgustingly dry, go on, take it away, and while you’re at it, my meat was cold, disgraceful, the sauce was congealing by the time it got here, practically made me retch, see, I had to leave those peas. OK, pea.
Yes, I would like you to tell him that, yes, I am complaining. See, you just have to take control, I don’t care if it’s embarrassing, that’s what they depend on, people being too shy to make a fuss, that’s why I do it. You might call it serial complaining, I call it standing up for consumer rights, did I tell you about that time I got them to take off four puddings? When they didn’t fix a wobbly table? Same with the tiny portions in that so-called gastro pub, thoroughly spoiled the meal, but at least they won’t try it on with someone else, we got two complimentary brandies.
Related: How to complain in a restaurant
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