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Comedians' guide to Edinburgh: where to eat, drink, swim and snog

Sofie Hagen, Phil Wang, Nish Kumar and others reveal their favourite festival spots, from Portobello Beach to the middle of the Royal Mile

My girlfriend did a show in Ciao Roma and ever since the owner has treated her like his child. When we walk in, it’s like the prodigal has returned. People are moved from “our” table mid-starter. Italian men dote on me, tell my girlfriend how lucky she is and bring us carbs. Because it’s the fringe I’m too tired to examine the gender politics and just enjoy the food and have a cry in a relatively private corner. Also, gelato! Catherine Bohart

Edmonstone’s Close, an extremely narrow side street that smells of urine and serves as the most idyllic backdrop for any secret rendezvous. I have always flirted with the idea that reality is fiction and I’m just a character in a Nancy Meyers film. This feels most true when I frolic around the city with a lover and nip into Edmonstone’s Close to exchange hot beer-breathed kisses to the hum of a passing silent disco tour. Olga Koch

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